Food

A lot of girls ask me "what do you eat?" "do you eat anything at all?" 

So I decided to make a blog about how I see food and what I my safe and fear food are.

Food feels like poison to me. 

I hate it in my stomach.

I hate eating. I cry alot over meals.

Although I love to see food or make it.

I can spent my entire day watching other people eat.

I used to love food! I could enjoy a nice homemade meal with pasta and creamy shit. I didn't think about calories, fat or my weight. I was so happy.

But now that is all gone

When I starve for days and feel like crap I always think "like one cracker would matter" or "once I start eating, I could never stop and binge"

Too afraid to lose control.

But actually I don't have control, Anorexia controls me.

Safe food:

Cucumber

Tomato 

Crackers

Jam light

Special K biscuits moments

Glutenfree bread

Strawberries

Apple

Kiwi

Watermalon 

Almonds

Spring rolls

Sushi (little portions)

Fish

Eat Natural yoghurt bar

Chicken

Dried fruit

Fear foods:

Butter

Bread

Pasta 

Peanut butter

Chocolate 

Crips 

Oil 

Junk food

Milkshakes or regular milk

Banana's 

Cookies 

Cream

Mexican food

Everything has to be in little pieces and I eat at exact times.

I eat everyday different, never over 500 calories and most of my days I get to a 250 calories.